Prayer From A Broken Heart

Jesus!Despite all my ambitions, there is nothing I want more than my wife and my kids.You taking Jessica away from me at such a young age is extremely difficult for me to live with.I miss her all the time.How unnatural it is to lose a child.All her life, I strive to provide and protect.From being a baby, I had all these plans to raise her as perfectly as I could.I remember we used to go to dim sum in Hong Kong when she was only a few months old.Sometimes, Jane would carry her in a snuggly or another time, I would carry her in my arms close to my heart.My heart beats would comfort her and provide her security.

I long for the days to have her close again!As she grew, she became this beautiful young girl.She had this long black hair and often with the sweetest innocent smile on her face looking back at us.She had a gentle spirit that is both compliant yet bold to love.She cared for her parents and siblings.To Jane and I, she was always encouraging and submissive to a fault.To her siblings, she was this wise counsellor without the over bearing presence.We all miss her and love her!

Her intellect was top shelf.She read fast and seemed to have a photographic memory.We could always count on her to quote the bible quickly and accurately.She was not proud.She would always listen without seeking anything in return.My Jessica and my family have been my biggest cheerleaders in my life.

My father in heaven, how do I live without her?Without her is like living without a purpose or sunshine.I love my wife and my other children who have been most loving and supportive even in midst of their own grief.They are my sunshine and purpose too.Help me keep them bright.Please show me how to move forward?The pain, the grief and the guilt are all so vivid.I am not able to fix this.Or maybe I don’t want to let go.I know Jessica would want me to be happy.I believe she is happy in heaven.Can you give me peace to know she is well in your presence?Give me faith and peace.Papa, I want to cry all the time.Can you walk with me through this?Can you please heal me and let me know Jessica is well!Show me the way forward.I love you, I love Jessica and I love the rest of my family!Please help, Jesus!